A female friend recently consulted me about purchasing a dildo and harness for strap-on intimacy. As high-quality harnesses and dildos often carry significant price tags, an unsuitable selection can prove financially burdensome for you and your partner. Below I have provided some foundational guidance to help ensure your first strap-on experience is a positive one.
First and foremost, opt for a comfortable and secure harness. Look for adjustable straps to accommodate different body types and sizes. Ensure a snug fit to prevent slipping during use. A harness with interchangeable O-rings suited for dildos of varying girths is advisable, providing flexibility as you explore different sensations.
When choosing your inaugural dildo, select a modest size - both in length and width. For beginners, a smaller dildo lessens discomfort or pain for the receptive partner. Silicone dildos are ideal as they are non-porous, simplifying cleaning and care.
Ample lubricant is paramount, especially with silicone dildos. Water-based lubricants are typically compatible with both silicone toys and condoms. Liberally apply lubricant to the dildo and receptive partner's genitals before penetration. Reapply as needed.
Frequent communication with your partner is critical. Regularly check comfort levels and desires. Agree on verbal and nonverbal signals beforehand so you can modify techniques or stop if necessary. Open communication ensures mutual enjoyment of the strap-on experience.
With proper gear, preparation and communication, your first strap-on encounter can be gratifying and memorable. Do not hesitate to experiment with positions and sensations while prioritizing mutual comfort and pleasure. Approach with patience, playfulness and care.
Strap-On Harness Buying Tips
Opt for a sturdy harness made of material with some give but minimal stretch. You want the dildo firmly attached so you can control the angle and feel connected to your body. Durable leather or rubber are ideal materials, providing rigidity and structure. Flimsier garments leather or elastic undergarments can result in a wobbly, imprecise experience. If you prefer the aesthetics or feel, or plan to use a cowgirl position (receiver on top), they can work, but otherwise, sturdier materials are recommended for security and control.
Keep in mind you'll need to wash the harness, and the leather stiffens when wet. Invest in leather cleaner and keep it conditioned between uses. For optimal cleanliness and hygiene, select a harness with removable O-rings to simplify thorough cleaning.
Adjustable straps accommodate different body types and sizes. Ensure a proper snug fit to prevent slipping during use. With the right harness, you’ll feel in control of the dildo for a more natural, immersive experience.
Dildo Selection for Strap-On Play
An ideal dildo for strap-on sex has a flared base to prevent it from slipping out of the harness during thrusting. If your dildo lacks a base, use a doughnut-shaped disk over the shaft for added stability.
The dildo's firmness and shape also impact function. A semi-firm dildo with some flexibility will be more forgiving of angle adjustments, making it ideal for beginners. With positions where the receiving partner controls movement, firmness may be less critical.
The wearer must keep the dildo's head inside their partner's body. A pronounced head provides tactile feedback to sense when it is slipping out. Similarly, a longer dildo is easier to control than a short one.
Only use body-safe materials like silicone or stainless steel. Silicone can be sterilized by boiling or dishwasher. Avoid toxic, porous alternatives prone to degradation. Your body deserves the best.
Start with a modest girth and gradually size up. Listen to your partner's feedback and watch for signs of discomfort. Proper lubrication and arousal are essential for comfortable penetration and pleasure.
With some trial and error, you'll discover the ideal dildo shape, texture and firmness for you and your partner's anatomies and preferences. Maintaining open communication is key throughout the exploration.
Girth Matters
When selecting a dildo, consider your partner's capacity for penetration. If you've used fingers internally, you have a sense of their ability to accommodate girth. Aim for a dildo approximately that width, or slightly wider since the smooth, rounded shape may insert more easily than fingers.
Keep in mind that capacities can vary by type of penetration. To determine ideal girth, have an assortment of sizes available and communicate openly. Start modestly and gradually increase based on your partner's feedback and comfort levels.
Strapless and Double-Ended Dildos
Strapless dildos can be arousing to view and provide more direct stimulation for the wearer. However, some find added stability and control with a harness. If control is a priority, try combining strapless dildos with a harness for optimal function.
Vibrating Bullet Dildos
Some dildos accommodate bullet vibrators, adding sensation for both partners. The subtle vibrations can increase intimacy by helping the wearer feel more connected to the toy. If this appeals to you, vibrators are worth exploring.
Use Water-Based Lubricants
Always use water-based lubricant with silicone dildos. Silicone lube will degrade silicone toys and could irritate body tissues. Generous water-based lubrication enhances comfort and pleasure.
Communication is Key
Strap-on sex can feel vulnerable for the receiver, while visual limitations may exist for the wearer. Ask your partner about preferences and desires frequently. Increase intensity gradually as you determine optimal techniques.
With open communication, patience and care, strap-on play can be adventurous and gratifying for you both. Have fun exploring!